Nashville, TN (September 29, 2014) To all of our dear friends,
First I’d love to thank everyone for your prayers. The passing of my mother has been very emotional and sad. I know many of you have lost loved ones……parents, spouses, children, good friends and it’s a very lonely feeling because it’s final. Although we do believe in an after life, just the fact that you will never get to hear their voice or hug your loved one ever again here on earth , leaves you with such a void in your heart. Seems like its hard to take a deep breath! I’m so grateful that I got to keep my sweet Yiddish Mamma till age 95 and I was with her when she took her final breath. She truly was a survivor. She was a very strong spirited woman. My entire family is thankful for the legacy she has left behind.
So many of you have asked us about funeral arrangements. Many of you wanted to send flowers and special gifts to honor Mom. I wanted to take this time to explain a little about our beautiful Jewish traditions when we loose someone in death.
Before I get into the explanation I will tell you that we tentatively have the funeral scheduled for Wednesday morning….Oct 1st. Mom passed away on Friday Sept 26th and it is currently in the middle if a very Holy holiday, Rosh Hashanah (9/24-9/26) and Yom Kippur (10 days later) so it is hard to make final arrangements with the Rabbi, especially since Friday night started the Sabbath. We will know more Monday morning.
We have chosen to give Mom a traditional Jewish funeral. Our father had the same and this is what she would want. A Jew must be buried within a day or two of death and we do no embalm the body so it must stay refrigerated until burial. Of course with family far away it’s acceptable to wait until all gather together. The coffin must be a plain pine box and the deceased is clothed in a shroud…..white pure linen called a Tachrichim . The reason is because we are all equal in death and we can’t take anything with us when we leave this world. God judges our merits and deeds ,not our material wealth. Once the casket is lowered into the ground, the final act we do is to shovel dirt on top of it. Basically the family will cover the casket with dirt. The reason for this is the deceased cannot do it for themselves. In a way it also acts as a gesture of love and gives family closure. We never see flowers at a Jewish funeral. Tradition says that flowers are unnecessary and die too quickly. Instead of flowers we place stones on the casket or grave site. There are many speculations about the reason for this custom but the one that makes most sense to me is that stones were the only way a grave was marked before headstone were made. It also leaves a sign that the person had a visitor and they’re not left without being remembered . We will then sit shiva (means 7)…..The mourning period which actually lasts 7 days. Family will rent a garment and gather in the home to receive guests.
This is the way we do it and we plan to put Mom away in this manner. She deserves this honorable final gesture from us.
For those of you who wanted to honor our mother, I’ve thought of a beautiful way do this. This seems like a gesture if love and would carry on our Jewish tradition.
Instead of gifts and flowers we will set up a fund in my mothers name and receive donations to help purchase her a headstone! We cannot put the headstone up for one year at which time we have an ” unveiling “. This way you can be a part of putting a stone on her grave. We can all participate in giving her a loving departure together. We have so many friends far away and we can join together in this gesture.
If you want to do this, you can just make a check out to us…. The Isaacs and put on bottom of the check, for “Faye Fishman Headstone Fund”. When the time comes for the purchase of the headstone we will post a photo and you will all know that you were a part of our mothers home going.
Please remember our family as everyone is trying to get our here in the next day or so.
Send any donations to:
PO BOX 370
Goodlettsville, TN 37070
Blessings to you all and again thank you for your prayers and support.
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